Saturday, April 04, 2009

A year

Exactly one year ago today, Greg deployed. I had no frame of reference with which to face the time ahead, no way of knowing how hard it would be, or how well I would adapt, how painful and broken I'd feel, or how independent I would become.

Life experience, pain, and love has a way of shaping a person; of refining character, and showing in stark relief both God-given strength and my own human weakness. I am both more impatient and more long-suffering than I'd ever realized. I also care more about some things and care less about others. I've found that I can be unbelievably organized and well-prepared, though I still wistfully look back on the days when I could get by with all ends loose and flying in the wind.

In being alone, it seems that I have finally gotten to know myself, which has been a very interesting, enlightening, and sometimes not entirely pleasant, experience. I feel older, and I certainly hope that I'm at least a bit wiser.

The deployment has been shortened just a bit, so within the next two months, we should be together again (no solid dates for security purposes). Greg and I have lived an entire year of life experiences apart. It will be an adventure to become fitted together once again. I am excited and mildly anxious all at once. It will be good to be together at last.

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