Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Love the curves you've got

Just posted the latest podcast! Go check it out!

I finished both sleeves, and have cast on for a third sleeve. I'm knitting matching sweaters for the boys, so I figured I'd get all of that out of the way first.

Yesterday's market purchases were mostly for dinner. The huge soft pretzel and chunks of cheese were just for lunch. There are about 5 bakeries within easy walking distance from my house, the closest being nearly across the street. This particular bakery happens to make the best pretzels I've tasted so far, so we go there several times a week. The boys split one and I eat the other. There's a shop right next to the bakery that has a fairly respectable cheese counter, so we go there about once a week to stock up. It's cool, because you can taste before you buy. There are so many that I've never heard of, so I taste one or two new ones each time. This is one of Sparky's favorite parts of our trips. At the bakery sometimes he gets to pick out a big, interesting cookie. He likes that too.

The vegetables were mushrooms (not white button -- some other kind that's a little more grey and stronger tasting), red bell pepper, a zucchini and a handful of shallots. I sauteed them up and tossed them with the spinach/walnut pasta (the thick ones that look sort of like egg noodles) and some butter. It was quite good. Mr FiberFlash and I wished there were more vegetables in it; the boys wished there were less. Everyone was happy in the end. I added enough seasoning to it that it didn't even need any shaved Parmesan.

The chocolates were for test tasting for Christmas gifts (of course, it's all in the name of research. What will I say after the holidays are over?) The very best ones were a white chocolate with coffee grounds in it (the chocolate is not cloyingly sweet as white tends to be in the States), and a rather rich dark chocolate with a dark chocolate/red wine/raisin filling. I could hardly eat any of it, but it was really good, strangely enough. I think that I would like it even if I wasn't pregnant. =)

Here is the official 16 week shot:
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All my life, I've had body image troubles. I've always been one of the smallest people I know, yet I've been unhappy and uncomfortable with the way that I look for years. I've especially always thought that my stomach was fat and terrible, and that my legs were chubby, although I'm not entirely sure how I got to that conclusion. It's kind of a stretch to go from "short legs with not a lot of muscle tone" to "stubby and chunky", but I got there somehow.

An interesting thing happened when I got pregnant for the first time. I suddenly loved my body. It took about three months to adjust to the fact that things were going to expand a little (a little?!), but I started walking prouder, feeling more confidant, being completely positive that I was beautiful. I wonder how this happened? I didn't even really notice that I'd changed, I just knew that I was happy and felt damn sexy in all of the new curves.

After giving birth, my body was like an empty thing. None of the skin on my belly wanted to go back properly, and I fought to get a flat stomach back with no avail. I probably could have tried harder...but that's always what I think. I remember feeling so helpless about it all. Sparky was around 9 lbs, and I'm 5'3" and started out weighing 110 lbs. Just imagine all the new belly skin that had to grow just to cover that beach-ball.

I started working out relentlessly, and was able to tone up my legs and arms a lot, and even got back some of my belly. I started feeling better about things, because I was actually really doing something about it. Then I looked at some old photographs of myself pre-baby, and realized something: I had back then what I now consider to be the perfect body (for me). How ironic!

Almost as soon as I felt like I was really getting back into shape, I got pregnant with Max, and the cycle started all over again. I worked out even harder after Max. It was more difficult, but eventually I felt confidant enough to wear a bikini even though my tummy was still a little puffy. I've got two adorable babies to show for it, so I started learning to accept the imperfections.

Now with this baby, I'm on that "curvy high" again. Seriously, there is nothing quite like being able to stick out a perfectly round belly and walk down the street with pride. Someday when I'm done having children (we're having them one at a time -- no promises, but no limits, either), I'm sure that I'll fight like mad to get that pre-baby shape back once and for all again, but for now, I'm going to learn to enjoy the ride.

I hope that more women would learn, as I am, to love the curves (or lack of!) they've got.

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